I'm in Vegas now...

So I've made it to Vegas, with the help of my friend Maureen who was gracious enough to join me on the drive down and helped out with the driving. Highlights:

- Gorgeous sunset outside of Pendleton, OR
- Got a speeding ticket in Utah, around milepost 171 on I-15. 89 in a 75. I think my speedometer actually was at 95, but I'll take the reduced fine.
- Got into Vegas a bit early so we went to Hoover Dam before going to the hotel.
- I had been driving the Jetta TDI so much that the turbo in it stopped working on the way into Vegas. It made getting to Hoover dam a bit slower as I was missing about 40% of power in my car. The turbo started working when we left the dam.
- Got a rock chip in my windshield. I'm going to have to get that repaired while I'm here.
- I'm wearing the most obnoxious Hawaiian shirt right now. Oh man, this thing is loud.

Enough typing. Time to go have some fun.

Bottom

My compassion is broken now
my will is eroded now
desire is broken now
it makes me feel alive
i'm on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
so smell my soul burn
i'm broken lookin' up to see the enemy
and i have swallowed the poison you feed me
but i survive on the poison you feed me
guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed
and it makes me feel ugly
on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
i'm dead inside

shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up at the bottom

if i let you, you would make me destroy myself
in order to survive you, i must first survive myself
i can sink no further, and i cannot forgive you
there's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you
i've gone to great lenghts to expand my threshold of pain
i will use my mistakes against you, there's no other choice
i'm shameless now, i'm nameless now, i'm nothing now, i'm no one now
but my soul must be iron 'cause my fear is naked
i'm naked and fearless
and my fear is naked

dead inside, dead inside, dead inside
nameless now, shameless now, nothing now, no one now
shit adds up (x4)
and you see me naked now
fearless now, naked now (x2)
shit adds up
it leaves me dead inside (x4)

hatred keeps me alive
angriness keeps me alive
weakness keeps me alive
guilt keeps me alive
at the bottom

Argh...

I forgot to sign my tax return. It came back to me yesterday. I didn't e-file this year because I was a cheap bastard. That worked out well.

And in other news, all sorts of shit is happening. I'm going to Oregon Trail rally this weekend with some friends and then I'm going to Vegas with a friend the following week. Both are road trips, and I have high hopes that both will be a hell of a lot of fun.

Fun is what I need. This has been one incredibly bad month.

Bad news everybody!

Nicole and I are moving out of our house and going our separate ways. When? I don't exactly know. But I honestly think I have never cried as much as I did yesterday.

Needless to say this is not the space where I want to air my dirty laundry, but for those who know me, well, this is going to be a huge change. I'm still trying to find ways to cope, but I guess this has been long in the coming and we both mutually agree that it's for the best.

End of an era. Almost 6 1/2 years.