Time

I find myself in a Pink Floyd mood today and that these lyrics seem to sum up my feelings right now:

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

I had a physical yesterday. My first in years. I knew the doctor would focus on my weight. I mean, how can you not? I'm morbidly obese. He even wrote it on the slip I took with me to the diagnostic office where I had my blood drawn.

My mood yesterday was horrible as a result of the appointment. And I let the doctor's comments about my weight (he commented on my "thunder thighs" when he said I "carry a lot of weight in my thighs") and longevity (probably won't live much past 60) get to me.

My mood did not improve, and what was supposed to be a fun night with friends turned into me overreacting to a series of jokes. I haven't expressed anger like that in a long time, but it had been building all day.

Time's running out for me.

Wednesday insight.

A friend gave me a great insight today into why I have so many friends who are girls:

"It's because you're fat. You're not a sex symbol to all of them."

Then she called me handsome. (Handsome is not one of my favorite compliments, but I will take it, nonetheless.)

I should've figured all of this out sooner, but it makes sense to me now. I guess if I were gay, things might be the same way too.

I think I'm OK with this. We all know I'd be beating the swarms of ladies off of me with a stick if I were thinner. Ha!

:-)

Coming Full Circle

It took me only 10 years, but I'm back nearly where I started. This past weekend the company I'm working for moved to the Darth Vader building. When I first moved to Seattle in January of 1997, I lived one block away at 4th and Bell in the Charlesgate Apartments. Belltown's changed quite a lot since I was last here.

It's oddly comforting to see how I've done in the past ten years. I've worked a lot, went to school, been in (and got out of) a long term relationship, lived in a few places, taken a few trips around the world, etc. And things are continuing to go well for me. My circle of friends is as strong as it's ever been, I'm seeing a woman who I'm starting to realize means a lot to me, and I'm financially stable. There are issues in my life that, of course, need resolution, but those will get taken care of in due time.

Even though there are the usual day-to-day bumps, I'm feeling comfortable in my life, and quite contented. Happy first day of spring!

Hi there, riding season. It's good to see you again...

The past few months have seen very sporadic riding from me. I did manage to ride a bit this past winter, but I've decided that if I need to wear a balaclava in order to stay warm, I probably don't want to go on a long ride. And the balaclava has this nasty tendency to fuck up my hair (it gives me the worst cowlick!). That, and I didn't have any decent riding pants until a few weeks ago. Lemme tell ya, riding in jeans with thermals underneath in snow was NOT fun back in January! :-)

What a change today was, then; 65 degrees, filtered sunshine, and mostly dry roads. I even got to use the tinted face shield and my summer gloves today. I recently bought a pair of Icon Super Duty 2 boots. The hiking boots I had were not keeping my feet warm, and these have helped tremendously.

I had no plan for a ride today. I just knew I needed to take advantage of this nice weather - it can change so quickly here. I managed to make it out of the house at 3pm after having gotten a nap after my girlfriend left at 11:30am. It was a bit late to head out on a ride, but it was nice, and now that the days are longer, I knew I'd have enough time. I rode up 99 into downtown Seattle, admiring both the blue water to the west and the city to the east. I rode in downtown past my company's new building (we just moved this weekend) and then down 2nd avenue until I hit 4th Ave. South. I got on I-90 east and just started riding.

My friend Maureen works in Issaquah and I thought to myself - should I stop in and see her at work, or just keep going? I opted for the latter and eventually ended up taking the Snoqualmie Parkway exit. I headed toward Snoqualmie Falls, and then made a sharp right onto this little road right before the falls. I've taken the road before, so I was fully expecting some good twisties. And I was not disappointed. While the road conditions were dry to slightly wet, I had to use caution with the amount of dirt and gravel there were on the roads. It hasn't quite dried out yet.

Still, I rode around those roads for a bit, and then worked my way back to the falls. The road north from the falls is quite fast, with sweeping downhill turns, a little treat for me. I then worked my way back to Fall City and finally found the Last Frontier Saloon. This is a place that my coworker had recommended going to. I didn't stop, but I do know where it is now, and I saw quite a few bikes parked out front. From Fall City, it was north through Carnation and then over Tolt Hill up towards Remlinger Farms. Then back south down WA-203. I eventually ended up going through Preston and back out to I-90.

By now, my butt's sore and I'm ready for a break. So I stop in Issaquah at Maureen's work. As soon as I hop off the bike, I see I have 3 voicemails - two from Maureen. How convenient! Into her store I went, and then we ended up having dinner at the Red Robin across the street. After dinner, sunset has started (it's about 7pm), and I've realized that I will soon be illegal with my tinted visor in the dark. It's time for me to go.

So, back on I-90 I go. As usual, an uneventful ride up I-90. But I did hit some good stretches of road today and it was a good refresher of my skillz. I'm really looking forward to experiencing a full riding season now that I've got almost 4400 miles behind me on the bike. Hooray for spring!

[Profound subject]

Well, things with my dad are improving. He took his family's advice and he's going in today for an angiogram. I know he's scared shitless, but this is the right thing for him to do. We're all just glad he's doing it.

A big sigh of relief here, from me.

What else is going on? Well, it was my girlfriend's birthday on Thursday. Yep, girlfriend. Woah. And the weather today was damn nice - so I was on the bike. Woo!

UPDATE (3/6/07 11:03): Just moments after I posted this, I got an email from my aunt about my dad. He had a stint inserted. They found a valve on the right that was clogged 95%. On the left, he has a valve clogged at 65%. They're just going to watch that one and then keep him overnight. He'll be able to leave tomorrow unless they change their minds.

Oh, snap.

I deactivated my match.com profile last night. I wonder why. :-)