Erin and her ring...

Erin and her ring...
Originally uploaded by BernieC

It's true. I'm getting married! April of 2009, everybody! :-)

Official-ness

Erin's Moving Day!
Originally uploaded by davem.com

Well, it's official, Erin lives with me now. w00t!

We managed to get our U-Haul from one of the most unorganized and dirtiest hardware stores in Ravenna, just barely got the U-Haul filled (see the photo!!), dodged a bit of snow, unloaded in the rain, and managed to get everything done in one day.

Still a bit of unpacking to do, but she's settling in now. What's next? Just wait and see ;-)

Boxes, continued.

There's box #1. None of my CDs in it.

Well, the week got off to a decent start. Sucks it has to end like this. Time to make a phone call and file a report. Sigh.

I don't want to be on this show anymore.

A coworker recently told me that my life has been quite the interesting reality TV show for a while now.

My response was, "I don't want to be on this show anymore."

[chuckle]

Aluminum Overcast

There have been some significant changes in my life in the past week. While some of the stress in my life has not gone away and will not for a while, there is some that has. One change has been a little tough to deal with, but life goes on. I have hope that good things will come out of it.

Today I went to see Aluminum Overcast at the Boeing Museum of Flight. I waited for what seemed like forever to get onto the plane for a tour. But it was worth it. What wasn't worth it was that I couldn't squeeze my fat ass through a narrow space in the bomb bay. So I had to exit the plane, holding other people up. I still enjoyed the visit, and got plenty of pictures. Check them out here.

Tomorrow I plan on a ride out to Ellensburg, WA. I'm going to make a lunch stop at the Yellow Church Cafe and then ride the Canyon Road between Ellensburg and Yakima twice (first south, then north).

!!!

It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable. -- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Right now, I know I'm not profiting. And there are others in my life being taken along for that ride that aren't either. To them, I say sorry, and I will reiterate that things will get better in the coming weeks.

ZOMG!!11 New Pixtures!

I've been busy! I'm done with phase one of my "go through the photo library and add pictures to my site" project. Woo!!

http://technojunkie.org/berniec/galleries/

And for those who are wondering about the title: zomg (Urban Dictionary)

Routines

I was just thinking of my morning routine, particularly now that I've been taking the bus more often. There are some faces I've gotten a bit used to seeing in my commute before and after work. This is a pretty random entry, I'll admit.

• The late-20s/early-30s woman who's been reading a book on Ancient Greece. She talks with one of the people on the bus only briefly and then goes to her book. Today I found out her name is Summer thanks to another passenger who addressed her as such. She gets on the bus, sits in the back, has about a minute of smalltalk with another passenger, and then reads. We get off at the same stop, and I see her head toward the market while I head up to 3rd ave.


• The mid-40s, well-dressed, Jewish-looking woman. Who knows where she's going, but she usually passes me on 3rd Ave. She did today, and we shared a brief glance and smile. I think she's almost freaked out by seeing me in the same spot almost every day, but I've gotten used to it.


• After work, there's the guy walking down 2nd Ave. to his bus stop at Pine street. He usually rounds the corner, and starts smiling by the time he gets to me. I don't know what it is, but his smile is a bit infectuous and causes me to smile back. He almost looks Mormon, very white, and almost too happy to believe.


• Then there's the late 20s woman, slightly heavyset, and looks like a friend of mine, who gets on the bus in the morning and in the afternoon and plays on her Gameboy. She didn't have it today, though. Today I just noticed her staring off into space as I chatted with my housemate on the bus.

So yes, this is a blog about nothing. Whoop whoop.

Vegas - just barely over 2 weeks away!

Time

I find myself in a Pink Floyd mood today and that these lyrics seem to sum up my feelings right now:

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

I had a physical yesterday. My first in years. I knew the doctor would focus on my weight. I mean, how can you not? I'm morbidly obese. He even wrote it on the slip I took with me to the diagnostic office where I had my blood drawn.

My mood yesterday was horrible as a result of the appointment. And I let the doctor's comments about my weight (he commented on my "thunder thighs" when he said I "carry a lot of weight in my thighs") and longevity (probably won't live much past 60) get to me.

My mood did not improve, and what was supposed to be a fun night with friends turned into me overreacting to a series of jokes. I haven't expressed anger like that in a long time, but it had been building all day.

Time's running out for me.

Wednesday insight.

A friend gave me a great insight today into why I have so many friends who are girls:

"It's because you're fat. You're not a sex symbol to all of them."

Then she called me handsome. (Handsome is not one of my favorite compliments, but I will take it, nonetheless.)

I should've figured all of this out sooner, but it makes sense to me now. I guess if I were gay, things might be the same way too.

I think I'm OK with this. We all know I'd be beating the swarms of ladies off of me with a stick if I were thinner. Ha!

:-)

Coming Full Circle

It took me only 10 years, but I'm back nearly where I started. This past weekend the company I'm working for moved to the Darth Vader building. When I first moved to Seattle in January of 1997, I lived one block away at 4th and Bell in the Charlesgate Apartments. Belltown's changed quite a lot since I was last here.

It's oddly comforting to see how I've done in the past ten years. I've worked a lot, went to school, been in (and got out of) a long term relationship, lived in a few places, taken a few trips around the world, etc. And things are continuing to go well for me. My circle of friends is as strong as it's ever been, I'm seeing a woman who I'm starting to realize means a lot to me, and I'm financially stable. There are issues in my life that, of course, need resolution, but those will get taken care of in due time.

Even though there are the usual day-to-day bumps, I'm feeling comfortable in my life, and quite contented. Happy first day of spring!

Kinfolk and a little update

I got an email today from my aunt. They're bringing me into a family situation occurring in Connecticut that they are having trouble resolving. It's about my dad.

My dad's 55, smokes at least a pack or two a day, drinks coffee like it's going out of style, has gained a lot of weight in the past 5 years, and basically seems to have no direction or goal in life other than to sit on his butt watching daytime TV. He maintains an odd sleep schedule and is now retired (on disability). It's interesting for me to see how he's changed since he moved to Connecticut almost 10 years ago. He moved after my parents divorced. Both my mom and my dad have since remarried. And here's another tidbit about my dad - he's very religious and he's bipolar with a touch of schizophrenia (both are managed through medication).

With all of the factors listed above, you might be able to understand why my dad's health is in decline. Granted, I'm no spring chicken myself, but out of the behaviors listed above, weight is the only one that is my major concern as I don't smoke, I'm not bipolar/schizophrenic, and I'm still an active 28-year-old male.

I talked to my stepmom today about the situation. She said that she and my aunt were going to force my dad into the hospital for an examination. He's been having chest pains for the past couple of years and we all know his heart is really starting to go. While my aunt and stepmom were visiting family in Florida, my dad got up the nerve to call a doctor. He and my stepmom went to the doctor after she returned and he apparently didn't do so well on an EKG.

He also didn't do well on a stress test and the doctor was surprised he was even still alive. The doctor referred him to an emergency room to start an angiogram. Three hours in the emergency room and he signed a release form because he said he needed a cigarette. The angiogram was never done and he never rescheduled.

My stepmom is incredibly worried about him as is the rest of the family. So I called him today to talk about this. This is the first time I've had to be on this side of the conversation with him. He immediately started lying.

"Oh, it's no big deal." "It's under control." "All I need to do is quit smoking."

I called him on his bullshit and let him know he sounded like my sister. I know he knew he was caught.

I know he's afraid. He's coming face to face with his own mortality and how choices in his life have caught up with him. He's also afraid of the prospect of going in for a bypass surgery. He cited the example of a family friend who died in surgery a few years ago. I reminded him that they may not need to do a bypass. They could just end up performing an angioplasty (PTCA), leaving him with a stent to open up his blood vessels.

I reminded him several times that the alternative is much worse. Will he take heed? I hope so. But I told him I will be calling him next week to see what he's done. I hope he does what's right, but he's going to have to overcome his fear to do that.

In other news, my life is going well. I'm seeing a great girl who schooled me on some of the terminology used in this particular post (she's a nurse) and I'm optimistic about the future. So with the stressful comes the joyful. Such is life.

A little update...

I have this superstition...

This is something I've told a couple of people this week, including the one the superstition is about. Basically, I've noticed a pattern that when I talk too much about something I'm really excited about, I end up getting let down or hurt and the thing that I'm really excited for ends up going away. What I want to happen never does. What I'm getting never comes. That sort of thing. So, to protect myself, I try not to talk about certain things, especially the things I'm incredibly excited about.

I'm at this point in my life right now. Good, no GREAT, things have been happening me since the beginning of the year. I'm now seeing someone who I'm really starting to get into. And she's into me.

For me, this is the scariest and most confusing time of a new relationship. I have insecurities I have to push past, but I feel like if I do, the end reward will be totally worth it. I have to remember to just take things one day at a time and not put the cart before the horse, as it were. And I have to remind myself not to come on too strong and to be patient.

Patience is the hardest thing for me. I would like it all, right now, as soon as possible. But I have to just calm the fuck down and wait. And let things happen as they will. I have to get all Zen and shit and be like, "it'll happen when it happens, yo!" And if it doesn't happen, I can't get crazy, but I think I know what I need to do to try to make it happen, so I just have to exercise some control.

Being patient and calm will only help me right now. I can be excited when what I want actually happens. Here's hoping things continue to go well.

What. A. Year.

Well, folks, this has been quite the year. Let's take a little trip down memory lane...

January: Celebrated 6 years with my then girlfriend in Victoria. Watched her leave for India for 6 weeks before I left for India, myself. Started building a friendship with someone who was, at that point, only an acquaintance.

February: Left for India at the beginning of the month for four weeks in Bangalore for work.

March: Returned from India to a life that had changed a bit. Started socializing more with friends. Had a very fun and interesting welcome back party. Continued building friendship with the person who used to be an acquaintance.

April: Ended my six year relationship with my girlfriend. Road trip to Vegas with a friend, and on the return, San Francisco. Start friendships with several people and become part of a new circle of friends.

May: Started seeing someone I knew in high school. This did not last for long (see below).

June: The fit hits the shan and thus begins the worst summer of my life.

July: Yup, the fit's still in the shan and summer still sucks, but I took a motorcycle training course and I bought a motorcycle. Woo!!!!

August: The fit's no longer on the shan. I take a deep breath and life starts to simmer down. I turn 28. I take another road trip with a different friend - this time to LA to see the Price is Right, and through the Bay area. One of the best road trips ever! I got to go to Disneyland!!!! For the first time!!!!!

September: A minor crisis averted. And a long motorcycle trip around the Olympics.

October: Nothing much to report here. Did go to Oregon Trail Rally near Tillamook, Oregon.

November: Nothing much to report here. Did go to the Seattle International Autoshow.

December: Wild West Rally at the beginning of the month. Then, a trip to Connecticut to see my grandmother, whose health had been progressively getting worse. Then back home for a week, and then back to Connecticut for her funeral. Happy Holidays, yo!

A very eventful year. Ups and downs. But through it all, my friends have been there and I end the year with more friends than when I started. I love my friends. Being 3000 miles away from my real family, my friends ARE my family.

I'm back...

I don't even know quite where to begin about this month. It's just been shitty. This has not been an easy time. Don't know how else to put it.

Merry Christmas. I'm back from Connecticut (again).

To all of my friends who have supported me throughout this, thank you again. I'd do anything for you and I know you would too.

Going back to CT

My grandmother died today. I'm going back to CT for the wake and funeral as soon as I find out the dates for them.

Oh yeah, today really is a shitty day. There was a huge windstorm in Seattle last night - no power at my house right now. This means I get to stay in a hotel tonight because I have to have Internet access for work. I'm on-call. Fucking great.

It doesn't really matter.

I cried a bit to myself tonight on the flight home. I guess the trip finally caught up with me. And I had time to think to myself, which makes me a little emotional. What a freakin' week.

A long ride.

Is the subject a metaphor for my life, perhaps?

I just got back a little while ago from a decent ride through Seattle. Rode up the viaduct to Western, then up 15th NW, then went all the way around Magnolia. From there, I continued north. I went through Ballard, and then rode to Shilshole and stopped at Golden Gardens for a few minute break. After that, I rode up through Loyal Heights, then back down to Ballard again, and then cut over through Phinney back to 99. What a nice, calm ride. The bike's now past its first 600 miles, and yesterday I performed its first oil change, chain lubrication/cleaning, and inspection (with the help of a friend, of course). I am, so far, having a lot of fun riding the bike.

My life has changed very much in the past year, and even moreso in the past seven months. I've made new friends, strengthened other friendships, and ended a long relationship. In the past year, I've made two trips to India, a trip to Canada, a trip to Vegas, and a couple other business trips. I bought a new car for myself after my ex's car died. She got the current car I had at the time, and I just gave it to her when we broke up. I bought a bike just a couple of weeks ago.

So yes, while I've made many interesting trips and met new people, I've also made mistakes along the way. I have made some poor personal choices that have interrupted my life and affected others. I have dragged my friends through this crap, and while they've been great, they shouldn't have had to deal with this. I love my friends for all they've done for me, and I feel truly lucky to have them in my life.

I find myself feeling lonely far too often, even though I spend plenty of time with my friends. Coming home to an empty house has been depressing, as well. Unfortunately, in these moments of loneliness, I feel weak, and I've done stupid things to try to ease the loneliness. Very stupid things.

There was a time when I had no problem being alone and, in fact, I relished in it. I loved being introverted and antisocial. Those days are behind me now, and I find I want to spend time with my friends as much as possible. But spending all of this time with friends only provides temporary relief from the crap in my life that I need to take care of. I'm working on that.

So again, to my friends, thank you for being there and listening to me. You've seen how crazy I have been the past few months, and I think that might get a little worse before it gets better. Bear with me. I'm working on straightening myself out.

There are situations and people in my life that have contributed to my state of mind, but it's all of my own doing. There's someone that says I have a guilt complex about this, but I find it hard not to. I made the mistakes, I have to live with them.

So enough of the emo rambling.

Anyway - my birthday is in 2 weeks - party on the night of the 12th, people! At my house. You're all, of course, invited.

HPD

Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Huh, how 'bout that! Reminds me of someone I know. For those who know me, well, they'll get it.

Snakes on a plane.

And that's all that needs to be said about that.

Motorcycle training class starts tomorrow. I bought a helmet, gloves, and some decent hiking boots that cover my ankles for it. Not sure if or when I'll buy a bike, but I'm looking at something in the 500-800cc range, at least to start out on.

Fat guy on a Ninja

That was me on Saturday. My friend Dave bought a Ninja 250R and his girlfriend and I played chase car as he rode it around. It was interesting to see him get better at riding the bike and it appears to be working out pretty well. I rode it around a bit myself and it was pretty easy to get used to. But I'd be more interested in something like a V-Strom 650 as it looks more like what I'd like to ride.

I'm taking a training class at the beginning of July with Dave. Looking forward to it. haven't decided if I am going to buy a bike or not. I guess it depends on how much I like riding.

Had a BBQ on Friday, got a visit from my friend Derick last night, and had some interesting drama in my life this past week. I hope that the drama will soon be over as I'm getting sick of it.

What a draining day.

Yesterday was great. Um, yeah, freaking great. Today was great, too, but draining. Like I said before - good things are happening to me. But at the same time, there's a certain level of confusion that always swirls around me. I think it's because I tend to overanalyze situations when I shouldn't. I should just go with the flow.

Oh well, still was a good day. I didn't have to use my A.K.

ORD

This weekend is a cousin's wedding in Connecticut so I'm on my way back. Looks like my flight to Hartford is a bit delayed so here I am sitting at Chicago O'Hare airport waiting. Only another 3 hours or so. Gonn have to find a power outlet soon.

Plenty of interesting things are happening in my life right now, but I won't divulge as I really don't wish to jinx my recent good fortune. I'm getting happier, socializing more, and getting past the crap of the breakup. Soon I'll start looking for a new place to live as it looks like I won't be getting a roommate at my current house.

All in all, it would seem some good news might be coming my way soon.

Bottom

My compassion is broken now
my will is eroded now
desire is broken now
it makes me feel alive
i'm on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
so smell my soul burn
i'm broken lookin' up to see the enemy
and i have swallowed the poison you feed me
but i survive on the poison you feed me
guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed
and it makes me feel ugly
on my knees and burnin'
my piss and moans are the fuel that sets my head on fire
i'm dead inside

shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up at the bottom

if i let you, you would make me destroy myself
in order to survive you, i must first survive myself
i can sink no further, and i cannot forgive you
there's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you
i've gone to great lenghts to expand my threshold of pain
i will use my mistakes against you, there's no other choice
i'm shameless now, i'm nameless now, i'm nothing now, i'm no one now
but my soul must be iron 'cause my fear is naked
i'm naked and fearless
and my fear is naked

dead inside, dead inside, dead inside
nameless now, shameless now, nothing now, no one now
shit adds up (x4)
and you see me naked now
fearless now, naked now (x2)
shit adds up
it leaves me dead inside (x4)

hatred keeps me alive
angriness keeps me alive
weakness keeps me alive
guilt keeps me alive
at the bottom

Argh...

I forgot to sign my tax return. It came back to me yesterday. I didn't e-file this year because I was a cheap bastard. That worked out well.

And in other news, all sorts of shit is happening. I'm going to Oregon Trail rally this weekend with some friends and then I'm going to Vegas with a friend the following week. Both are road trips, and I have high hopes that both will be a hell of a lot of fun.

Fun is what I need. This has been one incredibly bad month.

Bad news everybody!

Nicole and I are moving out of our house and going our separate ways. When? I don't exactly know. But I honestly think I have never cried as much as I did yesterday.

Needless to say this is not the space where I want to air my dirty laundry, but for those who know me, well, this is going to be a huge change. I'm still trying to find ways to cope, but I guess this has been long in the coming and we both mutually agree that it's for the best.

End of an era. Almost 6 1/2 years.

What a day.

Took a wrong turn onto a one-way street, heading in the wrong direction. No cars oncoming, but after immediately flipping around, a cop car was blocking my path. Got the full treatment from him, but luckily no ticket.

Him: "Didn't you see the sign saying no right turn?"
Me: "Sorry no, I screwed up."
Him: You're dumb, blah blah blah blah blah, gonna get killed doing that, blah blah blah blah blah.
Me: Yessir, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm dumb.

Argh.

Our cat's stuck on the neighbor's two-story garage roof. No amount of coaxing has managed to get her to come down. And no lights are on at their house, so I can't let them know it's our cat. Well, the cat gets to spend the night up there. Maybe she'll figure it out. At least her collar has our phone number on it. Meanwhile, whenever she sees someone she meows.

Argh.


Update (10/11 10:36 PDT):

The cat managed to get down by herself, but not before I went to the neighbor's house at 7am this morning and had him go up a ladder to try to get her down. Stupid cat.

Argh.

The move.

Finally moved. Nicole and I (and two helpers) moved all of our crap to the new house here in South Seattle on Sunday. The old house was up in North Seattle, so this area is a big change for us (and about 20 miles away). The new house really does seem new, as it was recently remodeled.

Had to make two U-Haul trips... and ended up getting the U-Haul back to the center a day late (we tried to return it on Sunday, but they were closed, and we didn't see a night key drop). The guy there was so happy to see the truck that he didn't charge us for the extra mileage and extra day. That was a nice bonus.

Much work to still be done - although the computers and cable are now online, I still have a home theater to set up. Not to mention all the boxes that need to be emptied. Woo.

Twenty-six

Happy b-day to me today.

Ah, Friday the 13th. I love it when my birthday falls on a Friday.

Sick as a dog...

So I spent X-mas down at my mom's house, where she said a bug of some sort had been going around. I either caught that bug, or got food poisoning yesterday because at 2:30am last night I was emptying the contents of my stomach thru my mouth. I've never been quite so sick. And, only about an hour ago did I try eating any food, in particular a piece of bread. It's now 11:07pm here, and I feel a little better, but I imagine I'll spend the day tomorrow recovering. Food I won't be eating any time soon: Lasagna, and cheeseburgers. Ugh.

Breakin' the law... breakin' the law... (and gettin' caught)

I turned 25 on the 13th. I don't feel much different now, although now I know what getting pulled over on the freeway feels like.

78mph in a 60mph zone, or that's what the trooper said. And, I was on my way to my mother's wedding (there's no way I could make that up in a pinch). Fine: $153. After running a quote on Progressive.com, it looks like my insurance might not go up - I fall into the 19mph and under category for speeding. I'd imagine 20mph and over might make insurance worse. Who knows.

I guess I've gotten to used to speeding for the past couple of weeks. I'm bummed I got caught, but it just goes to show why Washington drivers don't go much over the speed limit, at least on the freeways. I've never seen more state patrol cars than on I-5 between Seattle and Olympia. I think I counted 8 total on Saturday the 16th. Tricky fuckers.

My radar detector caught the cop, but he was quicker than me - by the time the detector squawked, he was already moving out of the median turnaround.

Oh well. Had to happen to me sooner or later. :-)

Pics and coming of age...

The company I work for is being bought. I found this out during the cross-country trip in Menomonie, Wisconsin at an overnight hotel stop. A little nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Oh, what else is going on - Here are some photos from the trip. Enjoy. Comments are very welcome.

Tomorrow I turn 25, and according to a long-since laid-off co-worker, I'll finally be an adult. Of course, he told me this when I was 18 or 19, so I can understand his point. Of course, he was a bitter and jaded old man, so perhaps I shouldn't have read too much into what he had to say. No big plans for tonight or tomorrow... I'm still recovering from 7221 miles of road tripping. Happy Birthday to me!

We're home...

So, two weeks on the road have brought us back to our humble abode in Seattle. It's great to be home, but now we have to return to real life and unpack our gear.

We came back to a different color house (the owners decided to paint it two days after we left)! Instead of the little red house we had, we now have a white house. I'll get photos up soon.

What really sucked is that when we came home almost all of the windows were sealed shut with paint. I managed to get the bedroom window unsealed, which gives us our window fan again (thank goodness), but the rest will be a chore. Fun fun.

As soon as we passed into Idaho, the Washington drivers slowed us down. I just don't understand why they don't understand the concept of stay right except to pass! I want to pass all of them, because yes, I'm in a hurry. Just move the fuck over and let me by. I won't tailgate them or flash my brights at them (although I'll think about it), so just they should stop it with the "2 mph faster than the next lane over" crap, and move over. I want to go fast!

Anyway, the road weariness is taking over and I need to get to bed. It's going to be so nice to sleep in my own bed tonight. It's nice to be back in Seattle. It's right where we left it.

15 items. Do you get it? Do you?!?!

Fucking A.

I went to see X2 this afternoon. It was great. Afterwards, I needed to do some grocery shopping for Nicole. I go to the local Fred Meyer to do all of my shopping, and I like to use the U-Scan after I'm done gathering my loot.

There's a big sign above each unit, which I'm sure nobody reads, that says 15 item limit. And, these units require a little bit of manual dexterity, as you have to scan the barcodes, and then place them into a bag (gasp!). There was this 20-something blonde having difficulty with the machine.... okay, no biggie, happens all the time. The problem however was that she had at least 20 items to scan, perhaps more, and she'd already scanned at least 10. I'm number three in line waiting for people to finish up, and she's holding everybody up because she's got so much to scan, and because she can't follow simple fucking instructions on the machine. Argh!

The U-Scan is a wonderous device, if you know what you're doing. It's quick, efficient, and you can get in and out of the store quicker than having to go through a normal checkout line. But that efficiency has rules. To all the illiterate idiots out there - read the fucking signs! The U-Scan has a limit of 15 items. The express checkout line has a limit of 10.

Seriously.

And there was light...

It's so nice to finally see spring here in Seattle. What's not nice is that I have to be in bed by 9pm so I can wake up at 4am for work at 5am. Yeah, that sucks, especially with the long days we have this time of year.

I've been working on catching up on some video encoding I've been doing - taking every episode of the Simpsons Futurama and encoding them in 3ivx format for my own personal use. I also finally had decent enough weather yesterday to get out and mow the lawn. And, I spent some time yesterday finding a replacement light bulb for the HVAC controls on the Bernenwagen. Cracking open the center dash is interesting, but I didn't break anything. That's a first!

Speaking of lightbulbs, I had to get one for our fridge, as its bulb had burned out.

I have a doctor's appointment today at 3:15pm. I'm not looking forward to telling the doctor that I didn't get the prescription he wrote for me because my insurance won't cover the drug. I don't have $160 for prescriptions every month or two weeks or whatever. So, I have to go get myself weighed today. Eeesh. My weight seems to stay constant, at right around 380. At least it's constant. The last thing I need to do is gain more weight.

I've been watching Manor House a.k.a. Edwardian Country House. I just love how we Americans can import a show from the UK intact, yet change the name to some Americanized oversimplification, a la Junkyard Wars (Scrapheap Challenge). In any case, Manor house reminds me a lot of 1900 House. I wonder, why do I have to watch the British take these trips back in time? Isn't there anything like that here in the U.S.? Do we have enough of a past to really know what life was like 100+ years ago? Did we have the same sort of class structures that early 20th century Britain did?

And finally, a question I submitted to the P-I's Getting There column got published on Monday.

Bernie fall down, go boom.

Today was a very interesting day. At approximately 2:30am this morning, Asha, our older girl cat was up to no good, trying to peer out the blinds in our room. This usually wakes me up, and today was no exception. I managed to scare her away, and then proceeded to get up and go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, taking a leak, my heart started pounding really really hard. I was dead tired, but I just remember my heart pounding away in my chest, like I'd just run a mile in 5 minutes (This is impossible for me, and my heart would probably explode. But, I digress...). The next thing I know, I'm laying in the tub, head against the wall, ass in the tub, and legs hanging out towards the toilet. I'd apparently blacked out, and fallen straight backwards. Nicole's over me yelling, "Oh my God, Bernie... Oh my God!" And I said something to Nicole like, "I'm just laying down..." and, "I'm really tired..." Really, I was. I probably would have just slept in the tub for a couple hours. Sad thing is, once I went back to bed, I couldn't sleep. Neither could Nicole.

Long story short, I'm going in for a physical on March 18th. I hope this isn't a sign of diabetes. Needless to say, I did a little extra working out at the gym tonight. No more slacking off from Atkins, either. Time to buckle down and start burning some fat away. Bye bye sugar. I'll miss you :-(

The Qwest is soon to end...

Bye bye landline, how we won't miss you...

Now that the TiVo has been converted over to using broadband for updates, our phone line is going away... on Friday. Woo hoo! The TiVo's been working pretty well since the conversion, and this weekend I managed to enable serial control of my Motorola DCT-2000 cable box. Bye bye, IR blaster, too!

Other than playing around with the TiVo, not a whole lot else has been happening around here. It's been a little boring, to tell the truth. There aren't anymore three-day weekends until Memorial Day. I might need to take a personal day between now and then. Wee...

I just got done reading this interesting story about what the last moments of the Columbia might have been like. Somewhat chilling stuff.

Well, off to go finish working my way thru my NetNewsWire queue.

Currently playing on my iMac:

More Than Words by Extreme

What a sad weekend.

I just got done reading this article about a bunch of the Columbia articles and discussion across the Net right now. I stopped to view the comparison of cartoons between major publications. I had to take pause at them, as some of them were incredibly moving.

I awoke at about 10:30am Saturday morning, and true to form, I logged onto my computer and checked my e-mail. I saw I had two breaking news alerts from CNN, and I didn't really pay much attention to them at first, but I was shocked when I read them. I haven't vocally freaked out like that in a long time. The Columbia accident might not have the same effect on me as the Challenger accident, but its effects will haunt me for years to come. First, seeing the pictures of the Columbia, in pieces, coming down to Earth, and then learning about some of the circumstances of its disintegration. I remember wondering, and I still wonder, did the crew die quickly or did they suffer? I know that communication from the shuttle to NASA was abruptly cut off, but I can only wonder what went through the crew's minds. Did they know beforehand? Did NASA's discussion with them about the piece of foam that detached from the external fuel tank put a damper on their optimism? I hate having these morbid thoughts, but it's hard not to, in times like these.

When Challenger exploded, I read that there was a chance that the crew was alive for a while after the explosion, as the crew module stayed mostly intact, and continued to ascend into the atmosphere, until ultimately falling back to earth. There's little more than that possibility that scares me.

What's in store for the future of space travel? I don't know. I hope that NASA will continue research on shuttle replacements, giving us a more economical space plane (a TRUE space plane) that will bring space travel to more humans. I hope that we'll continue to branch out into our solar system in the coming decades, starting with some sort of permanent outpost on the moon. I hope that the remaining shuttles will continue to serve for at most for another ten years, with a capable replacement taking over duty for them. I don't see the point in building another shuttle, like we did with Endeavour.... the shuttle is far too costly for us to use to make large inroads into space.

Anyway, I'm going to try to chill a bit, and maybe not read anything else that puts morbid thoughts in my head.

Thar she blows!

Ah, what a day....

Today started out like any other day, with the exception that I took Nicole to work. That's a bit different than what normally happens. It was a slow day at work, what with a lot of our school customers being gone for the holidays. So, Nicole and I get home this afternoon, and there's a cop car at the end of our block, blocking off the road. Uh, what the hell?

I look a little bit further, and our big tree that's in front of the house has been blown down by today's wind storm. Damn, talk about exciting. Unfortunately, this has resulted in a loss of power to our little house, as the power lines went through the tree. In the process, the electric meter and AT&T cable box were ripped off of the front of the house.

I'm typing this right now from my PowerBook, as it has two batteries, and our phone line's still intact. I'm dialed up using my mom's dialup account, and I actually pulled out a 46667 connection. Not too shabby, all things considered. I've taken pictures of the carnage, but I won't be posting them until I can get to a broadband equipped location. I think I"ll be going to work tomorrow, at least to charge the PowerBook and upload those pictures.

Thank goodness we have a fireplace. Without it, it'd be much colder in here, right now, even if the fireplace is taking forever to heat this place. Also, thank goodness for a very nice Seattle City Light guy who came out here on his own time to snip the live electrical line that crossed the street. I don't have to worry about getting jolted from the downed line in my front yard anymore.

I just hope the landlords get back to me soon. I really really really want to watch some TV right now.

Woo. Money.

It's nice to get paid. After going 20 days between paydays, I finally got paid on Thursday. Things were starting to get a little hairy there, but I'm slowly but surely building up a savings account, like I should be. If I can just keep socking away $100 every paycheck, I'll be better off. And, I'll be better prepared just in case I ever get laid off and I get no severance. Ugh, that'd suck.

Big things happening here in Seattle. The anti-monorailers are still at it, spreading FUD about a system that will only increase mobility for the residents of this city. They should shut the hell up. A lot of the anti-monorail people don't live in Seattle. "Your opinion doesn