Top ten worst things about being Bill Gates:



10. The Redmond convenience store stopped taking 

Microsoft stock in exchange for six-packs of Mountain 

Dew.

9. His barber just upped his rate to $6 a cut.

8. A sneaking suspicion that he'll never be Emperor of 

the Internet.

7. Boyish good looks worked wonders on the SEC, but the 

Justice Department isn't going along.

6. Robin Leach never returns his calls.

5. The Pulitzer committee rejected all nominations for 

"The Road Ahead."

4. Mick Jagger keeps offering old Rolling Stones songs 

for "the usual rate."

3. Always getting upstaged by Larry Ellison at 

Billionaires' Anonymous support groups.

2. Windows 95.

1. Still can't grow a beard like Paul Allen's.